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Activity 6.11 Document for Analysis Wretched Email Invitation

Activity 6.11 Document for Analysis Wretched Email Invitation

Q Your Task The following wordy, inefficient, and disorganized message invites department managers to three interviewing sessions to select student interns. However, to be effective, this message desperately needs revision. Study the message and list at least five weaknesses. Then revise to avoid excessive wordiness and repetition. Also think about how to develop an upbeat tone and improve readability. Can you reduce this sloppy 15-sentence message to six efficient sentences plus a list—and still convey all the necessary information?

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1. The provided document lacks the attractive layout of presenting information. 2. The text involves several unnecessary information. 3. It also lacks the tone of persuading the department managers for inviting 4. The proper usage of sentence is missing. 5. Several trite phrases and filler words are used.